today i decided to do a little work on the yard. i busted out the ol' weed eater and was trying to get it to work but couldnt seem to make it happen, so i watered the front yard instead. while watering under the tree i found a dead bird. it is a blue jay and it is headless. i was wondering for quite some time who would steal a blue jay head, but eventualy just went to get the camera so i could blog about my poor little feathered friend. alas, when i tried to get the camera i found that i had somehow locked myself out of the house. frick. i tried every door in the house. locked. i tried every window in the house. locked. garage. locked. i tried to bust down the back door and all i did was bruise my hips. i tried to kick it in (seriously), but my little indian sequined slippers werent doing the trick. eric is at work by the way until 10:00 tonight and it doesnt matter anyway because i have his house key- in the house. i eventualy went to a neighbors house and called a locksmith and had to pay 50.00 for him to spray some wd-40 and drill the hole. im so pissed. were poor and have a mere 23.00 in our account...good luck cashing that check you filthy locksmith! ( i saw your butt crack, by the way. maybe you should put on some underwear before you go to work tomorrow)
oh. p.s.
i found out that the headless bird does have a head its just bent backwards-an unfortunate death by neck snapping.
28 comments:
you should have put the fifty dollars in his "coin slot."
that woulda showed him.
lol. if only....
i can't think of anything to say except for ye olde stanby:
I like you Tara. I like you bad.
ps: I'm glad that you took a picture of the dead bird...
I know it's totally unfair to delve into ancient history; to make public what should remain private, but, Tara, you are prejudiced; you are a butt-bigot. Granted, nobody ENJOYS a glimpse of a peeking cleavage, but you ... of all people ... should show a little grace for those who are ... bum-challenged. You were not always the shapely svelt Tara we all know and love. Your parents spent the first four years of your life hoping to find the panties that would adequately contain you. While your problem was never a need for plumbers' crack-putty, you did have trouble slipping out the other end, daughter. Show a little mercy, dear.
i like big butts and i cannot lie...
YOu like my butt and you cannot lie??
Tara, I am mortified that I didn't write to about Fisher. I know you loved him better any other dog on the planet. I humbly beg your forgivness of an old forgetful woman.
tt you should be a photographer for national geographic
woops, that was me...im still new at this as you can see.
thank you, i guess i just have a real nack for capturing the dead. im not going to lie- i enjoy it, its a gift.
Oprah???
2 things: first, i never thought I'd see the day when Kev would call Tara a Butt Bigot. Awesome. Second, you may have read on the 19 things about me that NG Photographer was a dream job. There4, if you had that job, I would lock you in a closet and steal your job. Third, which wasn't on the list, but I have included it anyways, why are my comments always lists consisting of 1-4? and finally, there isn't a fourth point this time.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, it's nice meeting someone else who lived in Portugal :)
You should have paid him $50 to cover his butt, no one wants to see that. LOL
This one time I was reading Ryan's blog and on it there was a comment from you, crying about your lack of comments. Whiner.
Is it wildly inappropriate of me to trash-talk you on your blog when I have never met you? Maybe when you go on Oprah you can have her answer that for me.
thanks for the pitty comments guys, you can bet that i am loving each and every one of them, even if it is the result of whining. but no one made nasty comments when people like jess or kara whined...its not fair! waaa waaa!
i think al qaeda bombed your sister's blog... it's GONE!!!!
arwen, i saw that! i thought it was my stupid computer! what du...?
what's up with that? Black. I tried getting to it from up the street and around the corner and it worked. what's going on? I went to blogger and logged on that way. Best of luck...
Woops. I forgot to comment on your post. that's gross! I had to scroll down while I was reading so I couldn't see birdy not looking at me from up side down. Good one.
dear tara
i scanned your marci carmen pic into MyHeritage.com and it says you look like Toni Morrison. And Eva Longoria. And Olivia Newton John. And Sally Field.
Just thought you should know.
r1
arwen. of course, that makes perfect sense! ive always thought that i looked just like Toni Morrison, Eva Longoria, Olivia Newton John. And Sally Field. thanks for confirming it.
interesting that both you and Jess look like Sally Field.
Ryan looks like Sally Field too. Not me, though. I look like Tommy Lee Jones.
Thanks Tay-ra-ra! I like you bad right back! I also still miss your face. We should be friends and stuff!
That is the saddest story.
You should give one of those neighborly neighbors a spare key so that you don't have to see locksmtih crack again. Gross!
i am defanitly going to pass my key out to everyone now! im still so pissed that i spent a meaningless 50 bucks. oh the things i could do with 50 bucks...
Keep up the good work
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I think that emergency locksmiths are playing very important role. On last week I locked myself out of my apartment. It was the drama of the day and I needed to call out a locksmith to let me in. I think a locksmith (or any type of technician job that requires home visits) would be an excellent study in human behavior, sociology, psychology, and the like. You get to see how people live and how they react to adversity. It is important to find an honest and reliable locksmith. Some companies run a criminal background check on all employees to help ensure their people are trustworthy. If you are nervous about hiring a locksmith, ask about the background check policy when you call a company for help.
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