Thursday, May 04, 2006
where is the love?
i am currently very aware of the fact that people that i thought had the same standards as i, evidently changed their minds. things like, the sanctity of marriage. i am suddenly surrounded by probably close to a dozen friends, who are good, godly men and women, but decided that it was ok to forget their vows and pack up. im my book, that is simply not an option. i cant even fathom the idea of ever leaving eric, so i have to admit its hard to relate...but still. it makes me mad that just because it gets hard and isnt the storybook that we all dreamed of, we give up. i dont say all of this to make it sound like ive got it all figured out or am better than anyone else, just that things need to change. were blending in with the "world" and need to be set apart- examples. lately, my prayers are for my friends going through these types of things. i hope they will look to jesus.
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6 comments:
I hate to be a typical "blame it on society" kinda gal, but I have the privilege of working with kids who have come from divorced or never married families. The examples that we (as a society) set for kids is that it's okay to give up! the more kids we have that come from broken families, the more broken families we will produce!
I agree... we (as Christians) are supposed to be set apart from the world. But there is a HUGe resposibility for us to help educate the world! We should start with Jesus, and how it's not okay to quit! Just amagine if Jesus decided to quit when things got hard. We would NEVER have a savior, on a cross, who aros from the dead, and is coming back!
I like your blog, Tara. I like you too! Feel free to comment on mine too. :)
Yeah, whats up with that? It's like, whats the point of saying all that crap on your wedding day if you're going to keep the option of quitting later? It's stupid really. And it makes me really mad. I hate divorce.
Seriously. I thought marriage was pretty easy for most of the almost eight years we've been married. Within the last year, though, I have moments when I think,"Okay, this might be a little tough..." It's becoming more clear to me why the "seven year itch or ditch or whatever" has distroyed so many marriages. Ben and I are doing great but we came to a place where it took a little more intentional action and response to each other that wasn't coming as natural any more. When you feel like you're on different teams... take a look at what needs to happen to fight together, on the same team, the many challenges that life throws us! Good Luck one and all in keeping your marriages on the sunny side of life.
We were given some great advice before getting married;
A) NEVER think that it could never happen to us. We are not better than everyone else.
B) Find fulfillment in God first because your spouse can't do it. That would be too much pressure on me and I don't want that much pressure on him.
C) There is pre-marital counseling but you can still go after you are married and should, especially if you are happy so that you can keep it that way rather than trying to dig out of a hole.
D) My spouse is not the problem. The problem is the problem and we need to face the problem together.
We have really tried to keep those things in mind and be intentional about dating every week and saying and doing loving things. It is hard but it is SO worth it!
from a non- churchy perspective (I mean, I got married in Vegas for Pete's sake!), I am in the boat with KK. There's so much emphasis on "happily ever after" that no one expects it when things aren't perfect. It's left overs from our grandparents, the Cleavers. Everyone just wants to be happy so bad that they don't let on to what is really happening because they don't want to admit that they are "wrong". That screws us over because we just don't expect things. It's interesting being married to a divorce kid... my parents were always together. My mom would go on drives when she and my dad were fighting, and there was an incident in High School involving my dad, but ... they have always been together. Husband's parent's divorced when he was a teenager and I think we have different perspectives on what marriage is. It makes it hard-- very hard-- sometimes. Andrea is right though, "Pre" marital counseling is such a good idea. It makes me a little sad when people are too proud to ask for help. If you think that divorce is an option, then I don't understand the point of getting married...
Tara, I'd like to be your yoo-hoo friend. Not the kind that drinks chocolate milk with you 'cause that would make you sick. I'll be more of the it's-time-to-post-again yoo-hoo friend. I think I go fairly long between posts at times so I can understand not wanting to be on the computer all the time but... if you don't blog soon i might take you off my blog page! Not really! Yoo-hoo friends, if you didn't know, are unconditional friends so I would never ever do that!
I feel somethin' abrewin' in that head of yours!
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